Devon said:

I think you should find the hottest chick you can, put her in the dress, then rip it off in a state of furious passion. It will attach a new memory to the dress so you won’t have only the “old” one attached to it. Maybe more than one time (different girl). They may think you have a weird fetish, but if you explain that you want an amazing memory to go with the damn thing, it may work!

Jessie said:

I don’t have any great suggestions for you, but when you do come up with something, could you let me know? Mine is hanging in the very back of my closet staring at me, but at least I am a woman! From time to time, I unzip it out of it’s garmet bag and put it on late at night and dance around my living room in it. (I can even do a cartwheel in it!) I still feel pretty in it even if it’s silly Maybe you should try that? Just hope you don’t have any late night guests or you would have some major explaining to do!

Kat said:

i still have my dress but i keep it at my mother’s house. it is all boxed up but i can never part with it. even after the marriage is long over.my dress has a story: i didn’t pick it out it was picked out by my dad and mailed to me.at the time i was living far from home.it was really pretty but not what i would have picked out. i danced with my dad for the first time in that dress and only ever that once.when he died, i ended a really bad marriage.but i still cant part with the dress.my memory attached to my dress is one of my dad.us dancing together.but for others i would say sell it and buy yourself the one thing you have been saving for!then you would be turning it in to something new and you can attach new memories to whatever it is you are wanting.

Katie said:

I gave my dress to a young lady who was going to have her conformation in the Catholic church. Her family migrates and had little money for a nice dress. Her Grandmothers altered the dress by hand until it was unrecognizable, modern, and fit her perfectly. She was adorable. Now her family can carry it around with them for many years to come.

Me said:

Adam, I like Devon’s post idea!!! Seriously, though, I think you should hold on to it until you’re ready in your heart to let it go. You’ll know when that time comes and you’ll be able to do anything with it; burn it, sell it, give it away, etc. However, for the sake of the contest, you could give it to the 100th poster on this site and let them do with it what they like! You never know who might need a wedding dress!

Dave said:

For now man… I think you should keep it… UNTIL it’s time to let it go. It is the focal point of everything that was f***ed up about the ending of your marriage, as well as all the history, nuance and gods know what that brought you through this experience.

It may have particularly bad Feng Shui… so you would only want to give it to someone you don’t like… but that’s SO not how you roll with other hominids, so best to keep it till…

That day comes, and it will be time. Time to get rid of it all. And dude… there is nothing like a good fire. Bring it on out to the heartland… well go camping… and you can burn that !^&@%*&ing dress. You can burn it there in CA too… but a campfire would be the “hot” set-up, and they get so upset with campfires in your state.

Just name the time…

roksitter said:

Adam…never hang onto the energy of something that makes your life harder…it holds you fast!

Hadas said:

You have already done something amazing with the dress… look at this site! When you discovered the stark juxtaposition of that dangling dress in that enormous closet, it symbolized so many things… abandonment, loneliness, pain, dead hopes and dreams. But, look what you have done with it… you’ve turned it around, and now it symbolizes support, togetherness, humor, communication, moving forward, hope! The dress is just a fancy piece of cloth. Do with it what you will, it really doesn’t matter because you have have already shifted the deeper meaning of it from something negative to something exceptionally positive.

Rich said:

Just throw the damn thing away already…
It’s been 3 years, and you still have it -

Why keep something that’s meaningless and has caused you pain?

If your truly over her and that part of your life is completely over – the dress should be gone by now.
Doesn’t matter how just get rid of it. Till then and only then will you begin your life.

Topaz Lee said:

Have someone make outfits out of it for those dogs… (Or, as capable as you seem to be, do it yourself)
Send her a picture of them all dressed up and let her know that the three of you are thriving.
You are, indeed, an inspiration.

Dave said:

Topaz Lee said: Have someone make outfits out of it for those dogs… (Or, as capable as you seem to be, do …

How hilarious!!! I love the feel of a GOOD gut laugh in the morning!

Awesome Topaz…

Dave said:

Adam said: … Wonder what my buddies would think of me walking a Chihuahua around in a wedding dress outfit! …

Dye the fabric black and put some faux ammo belts on the dog outfits dude!

Nimue said:

Hi, Adam. It’s Nimue from jl.com. Congratulations on your new website. You’ve always helped so many people. I’m glad you’re still doing it. This site is a real blessing to others who are also divorced or going through one.

Hm. What to do with the wedding dress? Well, what would you like to do with it? It would be a waste to throw it away. You could donate it to charity or a thrift shop. Wedding dress prices are so high and there are many who don’t have that kind of money to spend but would like to have the wedding dress of their dreams. You could make someone’s dream come true. And it would be so like you to do that.

All the best,
Nimue

Jeff said:

This is ridiculous. To you, it should be nothing more than a piece of cloth.

Cut it up and use it as rags for when you change your oil or need to clean things up. if you don’t like that idea then donate it or throw it away. It has been three years, why are you wasting your life hanging onto something so trivial? what does your girlfriend think about you keeping your ex’s wedding dress after all these years?

Gary said:

Adam,

I’ll tell you, I went through a bad divorce after 21 yrs. of marriage. Thankfully, she took “the dress” and I have no idea what she’s done with it and couldn’t care less. But what to do with yours? Get a video camera and film yourself burning it. Then post it on youtube and send her the link.

Laura said:

Hey Adam…Dr. M’s friend here. Okay, I think we should have a theme party (Rockin’ Divorcees) where everyone has to be divorced (or going through the process) and wear their old wedding attire (or their ex’s old wedding attire). I’m sure you will look fabulous in your dress! We can play sappy songs (first dance songs) all night and drink large quantities of champagne. I can hear the toasts now. If you can’t fit into your old dress of tux anymore, no worries…safety pins, duct tape, and the like will make it even better. Just think of the funny pictures! Wedding cake will be served to top off the evening. What do you think? Laura

Teresa said:

Was she wearing the wedding dress when things went south for you both? Or was she wearing it when you were happiest? in my opinion, you should cherish the memory of the past happiness that the dress represented, give it one last look as that past is already behind you, then take it and…

1) Donate it to Goodwill so someone else can make a happy memory in it.
2) Find someone who can sew and let them have it for fabric for their own use.
3) Sell it at a yard sale – same concept as Goodwill, but YOU get the cash.

or

4) Cut it into the shape of a flag, paint a pirate skull and crossbones on it, and hang it from a flagpole outside your door or in your yard.

YARRRR!

karen said:

I like Hadas’ comment. You have your answer of what to do with the dress–you’ve done it here. Definitely get that piece of cloth out of the closet, throw it away, give it away, whatever, it doesn’t really matter. But, if you want to make an event of it, perhaps you should have a party where other divorced people can bring their sad and forlorn wedding paraphanalia and a bonfire can be built and all of it burned in an occultish ceremony and then your neighbors will no doubt call the fire department and the police–very exciting and memorable–you might even get arrested and make it on the evening news–which you never watch, but still, millions of others will, and then more and more people will visit this site and before you know it, you will have started a world-wide movement!! Okay!

Jeff said:

Put it on E-bay with the condition that the next owner send you pics from her wedding. Post a couple of them on this site. Let the dress mean something to the next bride. She may not have the money for a new dress, but “your” dress will make her feel special on her wedding day. Make sure she and her groom promise to read your site to possibly know what to look for and how to prevent their divorce….

Jessica said:

Diggin’ through all the posts and haven’t had a chance to read them all … but if you still have the dress I have an idea.
I’ll post my D-Day story here eventually because I can do that these days without wanting to run to the highest mountain and scream at the top of my lungs. A) Because it’s been a while B) Because I’m about to get married to a wonderful man who I’m pretty sure was put on this earth to LOVE me they way I deserve to be loved!!
Anyhow, back to my idea. So, there is this new “CRAZE” called A Trash the Dress Session. Basically after a couple gets married, they go out on a photo shoot in her wedding dress and either submerge it in water, roll around in mud, put it on the train tracks etc. It is supposed to symbolize the fact that she will never again need her dress and she is committed to the man she has just married.
My vote, have a trass the dress session!! Get creative — get out some frustration, run it over, light a piece on fire, rip it up, throw it off a cliff AND get it on camera and take the dogs with you too! When you finish ruining that stupid thing, leave it somewhere with the rest of your hurt feelings and LIVE without the dress.
I would keep a tiny piece so you don’t forget where you came from … that life is part of who you are, but you can keep it near toilet paper to wipe your A$$ but let it be a reminder. (JUST a TINY one though).
It’s like my can of peaches (I’ll tell you that in my D-Day Story)

Steve Ellis said:

Adam…It’s definately time to move on…Why do feel the need to keep this dress? You have created a website
to help people move on from their past and the only thing you’re doing is hanging on to yours…If you don’t need the money, give it to goodwill…If you do, sell it on Ebay, but whatever you decide to do it is definately time to move on…Isn’t that what this website stands for?

Now let’s go have a drink? Lol

Adam Weston said:

This is the “other” Adam Weston, your alter ego who’s also a designer

Funny enough, someone made a press release that mentioned this site, and accidentally notified me instead of you. The press release is here: http://www.marketwire.com/press-release/Peace-Talks-Mediation-Serivces-948662.html

I second the suggestion to donate the dress. Or, if the site becomes popular, maybe you can auction it off and donate the money to a charity.

Rich said:

So after a year and 1 month what did you learn? And I only have one other question? Please tell me you don’t still have the dress…

adminadam said:

Rich, Thanks for this note. It has actually been 4 years now and it is a time long gone by. What i learned is an affirmation that time does heal all wounds when you have the ability to let go and move on. I thought I had that ability right out of the box 4 years ago…I am tough and strong. The truth of the matter is that I was not as tough and strong as i thought. Had I not had 4 years of alimony payments, i think i would have been over it much faster due to sheer disconnect. However the monthly reminder of attachment to someone that left me was pretty rough on my heart and mind. As i moved on to other relationships there was still this nagging cloud over my head. I can really go on for ever. Bottom line: it hurts for both sides. It never really goes away. But YOU have the ability to “let go” and time will soon wash away the pain. The key is to let go so you can move on. I cannot tell you or anyone else how to do that, for I am me and can never understand your perspective. But i can “suggest” that letting go works, when you can find the strength to let it happen. I am grateful for my life, for my family, friends, this site and YOU for participating. I really need to get back on here and write more! Cheers.

Roberta said:

Hi. I am new here and in the midst of a dissolution. Maybe I’m not seeing what the rest of you see. Yes, I am hurt! I often wonder if it is possible to die from a broken heart, but I have compassion regardless. No relationship ends based on one person. It is a hard reality, but it is true. No amount of anger, resentment or guilt will bring you to true well being and peace. You need to do the work within yourself to move forward. Be the bigger person and rise above to move on for yourself. I can guarantee, your ex is not losing sleep over the fact you are still struggling, so why are you? If you are miserable, it’s noone’s fault but your own. Begin the healing and give the dress away to someone who can really use it. Someone who is ready to embark on a happy and fulfilling future. What a better way to move forward!

adminadam said:

Roberta,

Thanks for this comment. I think it took me a while to “accept” my fate, the fate of the marriage. Now, 4 years later i look back on the experience with fond memories and no reservations. It is what it is as they say. The dress however is bigger then the marriage. To me it has become an icon of helping others, not the demise of a marriage. Keep in touch…you have so many wonderful people supporting you! —Adam