Velocity – Which Direction Is Your Divorce Recovery Going and How Fast?

• Posted: October 20, 2008
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• Author: Adam
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• Filed under: Divorce Discussions
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• Tags: divorce advice, divorce recovery

I am sitting at my computer dripping sweat. Did I mention in any of my previous posts that when i am exercising I find myself? I become totally present and blocks of thought just seem to flow. This is the time that I discover my stories for the divorce blog.

It is dark out; I’ve just returned from a run. This is a trail that I have been running for 3 years now. I used to walk it with my ex wife and dogs. I recall not really enjoying the walk so much, as there were so many rules, we had to walk here, not there, she hated dust, the negative gossip of her day…as I say these words I feel uneasy…fast forward to 18 minutes before 6:23 pm, October 20th 2008, and I am feeling total bliss (I can feel it as i write these words) I take a huge deep breath and start down the dirt trail right outside my door. I live up in the hills at the end of a residential street. It t-bones into a dirt road that runs west for a mile to a major street, but to the east it runs about 10 miles or more across the hills…all dirt, no cars allowed. The trail from my house is all down hill to the main street, turn around and I am faced with a substantial 1 mile up hill home. As soon as I start, i release all thought, I go into my inner self for inspiration, answers, and pure bliss.

Today the word Velocity pops into my head. I’m listening to a song on my iPhone….

What Velocity are you recovering from your divorce and what direction are you going? This is important. What direction are you going and how fast?

I want you to think about this for a minute. I did not come up with this, it is out there in 100,000 different iterations from religion to The Secret and everything in between. If you think about something in a positive light long and hard enough, it will come to you. Now this is not magic. Don’t expect to think about healing and poof you are healed….or winning the lotto and bam you are doing the chicken dance and high five’in your friends. If you think (you can call it pray too) about something and really desire it, it will come to you…here is the catch, even if you are thinking negative thoughts, they too will come to you. The more you think and concentrate, the more opportunity will come your way and the faster it will come. Velocity!

Do you believe this? Have you ever been on a roll? In a rut? The more good things that happen the happier you are, then more good things keep coming your way and you are on top of the world. Likewise, when the S*** hits the fan, it seems to just keep coming! S*** just builds up and keeps coming faster! Velocity!

So right now, what direction are you pointed in? Are you dancing the chicken dance or are you getting hit with the S***? And what is the Velocity? This is not a trick question…it is very easy to answer from where you are standing right now? Did you say you were doing a slow chicken waltz or are you really busting out a crazy chicken salsa dance…what is the speed? Are you just standing there waiting to dance? Or are you just falling on your ass and floundering around? Or do you not want to get picked to dance at all…your hiding?

Direction and speed of your divorce recovery are important. If you are standing still or even going the wrong direction, you can change that direction very easily. You need to say hello again to your inner self and point yourself in the right direction. As you do so, you will pick up speed and will never look back.

Think of my run today. If my only thought was not being able to run, not being able to find the way down the trail, not knowing if my shoes would hold up, not thinking the daylight would stay bright, only thinking i was going to get lost, I can’t make it back if i get to far, I’m afraid to run, what if there is a dog, I’m better off staying home, what is clouds come and lightning strikes, I can’t, I’m not ready……I know I want to run but what if I get too tired…. I know where I want to be, but i don’t think i can get there….not even wanting to run….wow, i am getting sad saying all this!

Here is the thing about my run: I pointed myself in the direction of the main road 1 mile down the street, when I got there, i ran the monster hill home. I knew where I wanted to go before I started and I told myself I could do it. As i did it, and this is VERY important, I let the trail come before me, I enjoyed ever aspect of the run, the smell of the pepper trees I passed, the dog I saw, the smile on the owners face, the birds, the sky and clouds, the moss growing on the water that was trickleing down what was left of a concrete drainage ditch…i saw all these details and more…enjoyed the journey!

Here is what did NOT happen on my run: I did not get part way and get lost. I did not start in that direction and turn to another direction and expect to get where I was going. I did not just stop and stand around. I did not complain. I did not fall and not get up and keep going.

Forest Gump baby!!!!

I picked my direction and got there, you may get there faster then I would or maybe slower, but it does not matter, I got there. As I was going, everything about me, my mind, my body and my inner self, was in sync and in total joy, not for a minute did i lose focus on my direction and goal.

If I told you now to walk outside your door and run down the street and back, would that not be easy? So I tell you now to decide (and you already know this) where you want to be. Point yourself in that direction and start walking. You will pick up speed. Velocity in the right direction. You will never get lost because you are focused with your destination as a goal, you may slow down, but you know you have a direction and you will keep on that direction…THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE TO THIS OR WALKING DOWN YOUR STREET AND BACK. The only difference is what YOU choose it to be. THINK ABOUT THIS. There is NO difference.

I will prove it.

You say, but Adam my heart is broken I can never recover. You say, but Adam, I will never find love again. But Adam, it is too soon, but Adam, but Adam…..

I will prove it. There is no difference.

I will break your leg today. You will go to the doctor and get a cast. Tomorrow you will point yourself in the direction you want to run, and instead of running, you will use your crutches and get there slowly. YOUR LEG IS BROKEN, but you will still get there. 6 weeks later, the doctor will take your cast off and you will walk with a cane down the street and back…. IT IS TOO SOON, YOUR LEG WAS BROKEN WEEKS EARLIER, BUT YOU WILL STILL GET THERE…a few weeks after that you will walk without the cane…a few weeks later you will be jogging…then running…then guess what…you will be doing the chicken dance!

Choice. Direction. Velocity.

Today, right now, whether it is divorce or relationship, or financial, or health, pick your direction and only foucs on that…start in that direction and you will be amazed how simple it is…the evidence will fall at your feet as you go on your way…don’t trust me on this…trust YOU.

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