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Using Mediation vs. Lawyers in your divorce

Posted: November 12, 2008
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Author: Adam
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Filed under: Ask the Mediator,Divorce Discussions
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Tags: Ask the Mediator, divorce recovery, life after divorce, mediation

What is the difference between getting lawyers involved in your divorce process, or using a divorce mediator?

SO MUCH!

I have not discussed much about my divorce process on this blog, the reasons for my divorce, relationship problems, etc. I probably will, here and there, as a reference to a point I am trying to get across. Today I want to bring up divorce mediation. Of all the sad things that happened to me during the divorce process, the actual legal aspect was a blessing. My ex and I were able to agree to use a divorce mediator and a para legal to settle our divorce resolve.

We did not have a war. There was no battle or spite. We did not try to purposely hurt each other. I honestly just accepted that I was going to lose half of my financial life, I was very accommodating to her. To understand what was going to happen to me from a legal perspective, a visited a powerful lawyer that a good friend introduced me to, he told me all bad things that our laws will enable the ex to do, and told me my rights. He was clear that I needed legal counsel that I simply had too much to lose. I was confused and scared for my future after that meeting. I remember calling my dad and saying why is this happening to me.

In the end the ex did not want lawyers involved, nor did I. This made the process very easy. So we agreed to go to a mediator. I won’t get into all the details here unless someone really wants to know, the outcome was painless and without too much stress. I realize that this is not always possible as divorce is filled with so many negative emotions including revenge! In the long run, you will be much better off with mediation, both emotionally and financially! Disclaimer: I am not implying that I am happy with the outcome, I still fell very strongly that in my situation, I should not have had to pay so much and also pay alimony, I am actually so bothered by this, but too bad, nothing I can do about it.

I will be posting a series of articles that pertain to mediation. I am grateful to Diana Mercer for providing me with more content then I will know what to do with. Diana is an attorney/mediator in the Los Angeles area, she is also an author. I have her full bio here Please also visit her website here.