Daniella said:

I’ve perused this site for the last few weeks and find, I am most drawn to this post, today, anyway ?

Is time warping really the issue here? I’m not so sure…

My older brother and I were raised in Southern California by our married parents who reached their 46th wedding anniversary, Dec. 7th ’08. Our Dad is a young 68, our Mom is a young 65. Around our teenage years (the early 80’s), divorce was starting to become the norm. Nothing like it is today. I grew up with a large group of kids whose parents were mostly divorced. My brother and I didn’t know from two separate homes, two separate birthday celebrations and/or two separate sets of holidays and parents (I can’t deny going to their homes was much more fun, so much more freedom)! Our home was home. Mom was the housewife and caretaker, Dad the provider and disciplinarian. Normal, dysfunctional in it’s own right, but normal. Our parents were not only great role models based not solely on their continued commitment to one another but because they provided a wealth of love, support and encouragement for both my brother and I.

I will be divorced 5 years this January and our daughter recently turned 6. When my parents initially found out about my ex-husband’s affair they couldn’t help me file for divorce fast enough. In fact, my Dad, who’s my best friend (this is important to remember), had me signing divorce papers faster than I could say, “Dissomaster?” There was no time to waste, “Get out, get your things and never look back!” Granted, I too had a very strong sense of closing up shop and fast. So, it’s also important to know, I was not pressured to do so in any way. I am now a 40 yr. young divorced, single, full-time working parent of one Rockstar of a little girl. Yes, she is my everything. I protect her with my life. Who loves her more than me – I get it. I believe I do make the best decisions thus choices regarding her upbringing as she shares two homes and separate holidays etc.

My plight: My parents loathe my ex-husband, Yes I get it now, “Hurt my baby and you hurt me, hell hath no fury like a parent scorned!” Although it took my ex-husband a few years with the addition of sobriety to get his act together, he’s not only been sober for 3 years he wanted to be a father to our daughter and has become and incredible father! Who am I to ever take that right away from him (or our daughter) because he wronged me (by law I have 100% legal and physical custody)? My parents will not let me forget they do not approve of my ex-husband’s shared custody. My Mom is the only one in my life who continually reminds me I am divorced and from that, “Son of a bitch”. While my Father (remember, my best friend) continually reminds me I’ve made a bad choice allowing my ex-husband to partake in his own daughter’s life. My Dad! The one man who loves me unconditionally, the one man I continually look to for guidance, support, and love. My Dad, the one man whose love will never waiver.

My parents are people too they every right to their opinion. But how on Earth can my Father believe his own grand daughter shouldn’t have her own biological father? I am not hiding one bit of information here; my ex-husband cheated; he is a recovering alcoholic; he works hard and helps to take care, shape, guide, support and love our child unconditionally – no differently than my Father! So I ask you, Mr. Weston with all due respect, isn’t it time my parents knocked me off my feet and let me know they are proud of me? I am one hell of a parent because of them!