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Is Facebook a Divorce Recovery Tool and Divorce Support Group?

Posted: December 27, 2008
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Author: Adam
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Filed under: Divorce Discussions,Features
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Tags: divorce recovery, divorce support groups, facebook, social networking

Can some social networking be helpful to your divorce recovery? Can Facebook be one of your divorce support groups?

After my divorce, as I have mentioned many times here, I felt quite alone. I’m a very social person and have many friends, but none the less, I felt alone. Think about this in your own life experience for a minute. You have a life together with someone. You have your group that you are always doing something with TOGETHER. Of course, there are boys nights and girls nights out, but for the most part your social life revolves around some combination of your mutual friends and the friends that you build together throughout your marriage. Something also happens in a marriage, and in any relationship for that matter….you seem to stray from some of your friends for one reason or another. Maybe your spouse does not like your college bro, or you really dislike her chatty manicurist…whatever the case, for whatever reason, you “lose” some friends too. Actually “life happens” and we tend to lose touch of people that we met along the way. These factors do not serve you well when you are tossed out into the world of life after marriage.

Flash forward to this past Xmas day. I was home sick. Got my annual head cold a few days prior and I was just feeling like crap. For the past year I have had various friends requesting me to join Facebook. I shunned them all. I got caught up in MySpace a few years earlier and it was more of a youthful disaster site …. the girl I was dating at the time was pissed that she was not my number one profile, she knew when I was on the site, got jealous of others making comments, it was insane. That said, I figured that Facebook was more of the same and I wanted nothing to do with that! I get crazy like that, when my mind is made up it becomes a matter of principal. (I still have not seen ET because my buddy and I said we never would.)

As I was sitting around with nothing to do, sick, feeling sorry for myself, I got an email from Sara. She sent me a link to a site that she wanted me to do some commenting on, in turn I can meet more people and share my posts, too. The site is really cool, check it out: Think Simple Now. This site seems to have the same mission as Adam’s Wedding Dress: to help others. Stick with me! As I looked more at Tina’s site, I noticed how she was involved in Facebook. I figured now was the time to bust a move and finally get started, so I reluctantly created a profile and a Facebook page for Adam’s Wedding Dress

As I did all this I got to thinking…

Facebook is actually great. It brings people together. As I added a few friends there was a cascading effect of their friends seeing me on their individual pages, so I started to hear from people that I knew 20 years ago. I personally am in a great place in my life, but I thought, WOW, this could have been so useful to me during the months after the move out. There was nothing more debilitating than sitting at home alone with my thoughts. The past few days have been filled with new and old friends connecting with me and it is actually quite fun. I have connected with old High School mates, a group of friends that I had after I graduated from college and moved back to LA, ex employees and more. This is GREAT therapy and would have been incredibly helpful right after my ex moved out.

This is not a complete solution of course, but it is a great start to get out and back in the world. As always, reach for what feels good to you and make sure that you follow that path. Reconnecting with old friends (good friends) that have just slipped away for whatever reason is great. You reminisce of good old times, and good feelings come back. So maybe a social network like Facebook can help you in your divorce recovery. Facebook, the ultimate divorce support group…what a crazy concept!