farfromfearless

This is not a divorce story, it is a history story!

I often explore different subjects on Adam's Wedding Dress. I often find stories in the strangest places. Adam's Dad found this story and it is amazing. I have a fun contest here on the site asking readers to comment on what I should do with Adam's Wedding Dress. This post is a story about a very historical dress. The meaning behind it is very powerful. I struggle with the fact my dress is an icon for my divorce, the story below puts this into a bit of perspective. This article was originally written by Helen Zegerman Schwimmer. We thank her for her research and account of this wonderful story.

The wedding gown that made history

The Wedding Gown that made historyLilly Friedman doesn’t remember the last name of the woman who designed and sewed the wedding gown she wore when she walked down the aisle over 60 years ago.  But the grandmother of seven does recall that when she first told her fiancé Ludwig that she had always dreamed of being married in a white gown he realized he had his work cut out for him.

For the tall, lanky 21-year-old who had survived hunger, disease and torture this was a different kind of challenge.  How was he ever going to find such a dress in the Bergen Belsen Displaced Person’s camp where they felt grateful for the clothes on their backs?? ?   Fate would intervene in the guise of a former German pilot who walked into the food distribution center where Ludwig worked, eager to make a trade for his worthless parachute.  In exchange for two pounds of coffee beans and a couple of packs of cigarettes Lilly would have her wedding gown.

For two weeks Miriam the seamstress worked under the curious eyes of her fellow DPs, carefully fashioning the six parachute panels into a simple, long sleeved gown with a rolled collar and a fitted waist that tied in the back with a bow. When the dress was completed she sewed the leftover material into a matching shirt for the groom.? ?   A white wedding gown may have seemed like a frivolous request in the surreal environment of the camps, but for Lilly the dress symbolized the innocent, normal life she and her family had once led before the world descended into madness.  Lilly and her siblings were raised in a Torah observant home in the small town of Zarica, Czechoslovakia where her father was a melamed, respected and well liked by the young yeshiva students he taught in nearby Irsheva.

 

Lilly Friedman and her parachute dress on display in the Bergen Belsen Museum

Lilly Friedman and her parachute dress on display in the Bergen Belsen Museum

 

He and his two sons were marked for extermination immediately upon arriving at Auschwitz.  For Lilly and her sisters it was only their first stop on their long journey of persecution, which included Plashof, Neustadt, Gross Rosen and finally Bergen Belsen.

Four hundred people marched 15 miles in the snow to the town of Celle on January 27, 1946 to attend Lilly and Ludwig’s wedding.  The town synagogue, damaged and desecrated, had been lovingly renovated by the DPs with the meager materials available to them.  When a Sefer Torah arrived from England they converted an old kitchen cabinet into a makeshift Aron Kodesh.

“My sisters and I lost everything – our parents, our two brothers, our homes. The most important thing was to build a new home.”  Six months later, Lilly’s sister Ilona wore the dress when she married Max Traeger.  After that came Cousin Rosie.  How many brides wore Lilly’s dress? “I stopped counting after 17.” With the camps experiencing the highest marriage rate in the world, Lilly’s gown was in great demand.

In 1948 when President Harry Truman finally permitted the 100,000 Jews who had been languishing in DP camps since the end of the war to emigrate, the gown accompanied Lilly across the ocean to America.  Unable to part with her dress, it lay at the bottom of her bedroom closet for the next 50 years, “not even good enough for a garage sale. I was happy when it found such a good home.”

Home was the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. When Lily’s niece, a volunteer, told museum officials about her aunt’s dress, they immediately recognized its historical significance and displayed the gown in a specially designed showcase, guaranteed to preserve it for 500 years.? But Lilly Friedman’s dress had one more journey to make. Bergen Belsen, the museum, opened its doors on October 28, 2007.  The German government invited Lilly and her sisters to be their guests for the grand opening. They initially declined, but finally traveled to Hanover the following year with their children, their grandchildren and extended families to view the extraordinary exhibit created for the wedding dress made from a parachute.

Lilly’s family, who were all familiar with the stories about the wedding in Celle, were eager to visit the synagogue.  They found the building had been completely renovated and modernized.  But when they pulled aside the handsome curtain they were astounded to find that the Aron Kodesh, made from a kitchen cabinet, had remained untouched as a testament to the profound faith of the survivors.  As Lilly stood on the bimah once again she beckoned to her granddaughter, Jackie, to stand beside her where she was once a kallah.  “It was an emotional trip.  We cried a lot.”

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Two weeks later, the woman who had once stood trembling before the selective eyes of the infamous Dr. Josef Mengele returned home and witnessed the marriage of her granddaughter.  The three Lax sisters – Lilly, Ilona and Eva, who together survived Auschwitz, a forced labor camp, a death march and Bergen Belsen – have remained close and today live within walking distance of each other in Brooklyn.  As mere teenagers, they managed to outwit and outlive a monstrous killing machine, then went on to marry, have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and were ultimately honored by the country that had earmarked them for extinction.

As young brides, they had stood underneath the chuppah and recited the blessings that their ancestors had been saying for thousands of years.  In doing so, they chose to honor the legacy of those who had perished by choosing life.

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Source:  Jewish Press

16 people have left comments

Dave - Gravatar

Dave said:

What an extraordinary dress, story, and testament to faith, and family.

Thankfully, the dignity, life spirit, courage and goodness of a people can form diamonds of inspiration for the rest of us, forged from such a cruel and horrifying time.

You are right Adam… this brings a different perspective to that which is a dress. Wow.

Posted on: February 5, 2009 at 7:20 amQuote this Comment
mina lerman - Gravatar

mina lerman said:

i believe that my mother,miryam waxman, who was a dressmaker and was in bergen belzen may have been the one that made this wedding gown. i am desperately trying to find lilly friedman or her family to confirm this.
any help would be great.
thanks

Posted on: February 7, 2009 at 10:41 amQuote this Comment
JoAnne Schnepp - Gravatar

JoAnne Schnepp said:

mina lerman said: i believe that my mother,miryam waxman, who was a dressmaker and was in bergen belzen may have been the one …

Mina, I hope you can find her by contacting the HOLACAUST MUSEUM in Washington, DC! What a story! A bridal business friend of mine shared this with me, and I believe I am going to post the story on my own wedding business website…as an inspiration to all my brides. I am a retired RN, and had the HONOR of caring for many holocaust survivors when I worked in a Jewish Nursing Home back in the 1960′s. I often think of these elderly folks, even now. Their strength, their faith and their spirit was always just unbelievable to me! I would very much like to find out if Mina meets Lilly!!

Posted on: February 7, 2009 at 6:31 pmQuote this Comment
mina lerman - Gravatar

mina lerman said:

first of all,thank you jo ann for taking care of the survivors.both my parents were survivors and it was a monumental task for them to continue living fruitful lives.
i have contacted the museum in washington as well as the bergen-belsen museum, via e-mail. i will also try to call them.if this dress was made by my mother, who also made my wedding dress, it will be a legacy for me and my children.
i will post the results of my search here.

Posted on: February 8, 2009 at 10:40 amQuote this Comment
Adam - Gravatar

Adam said:

I am so thankful that Adam’s Dad passed this Article along to me. It is very powerful. It does not necessary 100% relate to a divorce/relationship support site, but in a way i really makes me think…the power of love and marriage many years ago seems a bit different now. Faced with death and hate abound, a marriage took place and it was a marriage of hope…that lasted as it should. Consider the power! Thank you Mina and JoAnne for your comments.

Posted on: February 8, 2009 at 11:49 amQuote this Comment
Andrew Lax - Gravatar

Andrew Lax said:

Mina,

Please contact me at candybouquet3960@aol.com. I am a relative of Lilly (although distant) and I believe I may be able to put you in contact with Lilly.

This is an amazing story that my mom just emailed me.

Posted on: February 18, 2009 at 2:09 pmQuote this Comment
mina - Gravatar

mina said:

thank you andrew for contacting me. i will be e-mailing to you.
i contacted the museum in washington and spoke to suzi snyder who took in the collection.she said she is in touch with lily’s daughter and will ask her to contact me. todate ,i have not heard from anyone.
i am so excited that you found the site and contacted me.
thank you and lets see if we can resolve the mystery of who sewed this dress.

Posted on: February 18, 2009 at 2:20 pmQuote this Comment
mina - Gravatar

mina said:

hi everyone,
i am so excited because i just heard from lilly’s daughter and she thinks it may be my mother that made the dress.we are going to speak to lilly to verify this real soon.
suzi snyder at the washington holaucaust museum who took in the exhibit helped me get in touch with miriam and andrew lax also contacted me.thank you to both.
its amazing that this site was the continuation of this amazing story.

Posted on: March 4, 2009 at 2:48 pmQuote this Comment
Adam - Gravatar

Adam said:

Mina,

The universe works in mysterious ways!

Adam

Posted on: March 4, 2009 at 3:08 pmQuote this Comment
mina - Gravatar

mina said:

yes adam,the universe is working now better with the computer and e-mail.these stories need to be sent thru e=mails as soon as possible because the survivors are in the late 80′s and are leaving us one by one.both my parents are gone since 1999 but told me many of the stories.the second generation like my self and miriam are in their 60′s and if we know the stories we can pass it on to our children.thanks for your website.

Posted on: March 4, 2009 at 3:19 pmQuote this Comment
Daniella - Gravatar

Daniella said:

Mina, I am excited for you too! I have been following this thread since Adam first posted, “History story”.

More recently I’ve been researching the meaning of coincidence; do we fabricate the “meant to be’s” to mean something more? This is my first experience leading me to believe good, bad or indifferent they are all quite meaningful! I’m starting to relate to Einstein’s belief, “Coincidence is G-d’s way of staying anonymous.” Since becoming a first time contributing writer on Adam’s Wedding Dress people ask me what and who the website is for. Now, I can easily say, “It’s a mitzvah for all”.

Please keep us in the loop as to your progress and for all of us Jewish living with many unanswered questions.

Adam, I hope you feel great pride ?

Posted on: March 5, 2009 at 9:26 amQuote this Comment
mina - Gravatar

mina said:

hi daniella,
i don’t know about coincidence,however the electronic age is amazing as a vehicle for people to find each other. i do believe in meant to be.
thank you for your comments and i will let you know more after i speak to lilly.

Posted on: March 5, 2009 at 4:48 pmQuote this Comment
Jack Rutner - Gravatar

Jack Rutner said:

I am Lilly Friedman’s grand-nephew (Lilly and my mother were sisters). If you would like to get in touch with Lilly, e-mail me at docrutner@verizon.net.

Posted on: March 5, 2009 at 5:23 pmQuote this Comment
mina lerman - Gravatar

mina lerman said:

the mystery for me has been solved but lilly is still looking for the dressmaker.for all of you who waited patiently here is her daughter’s response to me:
“Hi Mina. As you know, my Mom and my Aunt spoke to your Aunt Bina. They found out where your Mom was born (Poland) and her seamstress was born in the Carpathian area (Ukraine now). Also, the other information they found out about your Mom and their friend Miriam did not match. As a result, we determined that your Mom was not the same Miriam that made my Mother’s wedding gown. My Mom was very disappointed. It would have been very exciting to have discovered the offspring of her friend and it would have added another chapter to her saga. ”
this was an exciting journey and i hope the dressmaker will contact lilly while she is here with us.
thank you all for your moral and practical support.

Posted on: April 5, 2009 at 7:52 pmQuote this Comment
Helen Zegerman Schwimmer - Gravatar

Helen Zegerman Schwimmer said:

I am the author of the story about The Wedding Gown That Made History which appears on your blog without my byline. Here is the link to the original article: http://www.thejewishpress.com/pageroute.do/37658

Although I have enjoyed reading all the comments regarding the story I would appreciate credit for the research and work I put into this effort. Please add my byline to this article.
Helen Zegerman Schwimmer

Posted on: April 30, 2010 at 2:35 amQuote this Comment
adminadam - Gravatar

adminadam said:

Helen, Thank you for your comment and I am happy you found your article here. You will note that the Jewish Press was credited as the source. To take this one step further, i added your name at the top of the article here with thanks to you for your work. Peace! Adam

Posted on: April 30, 2010 at 9:05 amQuote this Comment

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