What does Bernie Madoff have to do with single parenting and divorce?

• Posted: March 16, 2009
• |
• Author: Daniella
• |
• Filed under: Ask the Single Parent
• |
• Tags: child, children, divorce, single parent, single parenting

The title is not a rhetorical question! What does Bernie Madoff have to do with a divorce advice blog? I am thrilled that Daniella is using current events in society to explore and express her experiences. Often, I find that the world around us, most notably the media, has a major impact on our thinking and perception. The news, greed, and complete disrespect for others drives what we think, the more we see the more we need of this crap. If you can stop and provoke your thoughts and relate in anyway, you can learn. And learning is divorce healing! Knowledge is coping as a single parent!

I wonder if I’ll ever hit the lotto, literally – thing is, first I’d have to play. But figuratively I wonder if I’ll ever truly reach a comfortable level financially; one where I would have options to send my daughter to the best private schools, the coolest camps, all her activities, (i.e. sports, music, and art lessons etc) as well as travel. A level of comfort that would enable me to give my daughter what I deem the very best all the while knowing I have plenty saved for her college years and wedding (if she chooses that road of course). Over all, the lifestyle I was accustomed to growing up. Don’t get me wrong, I am not from a wealthy family but my father, who made only $200 a week when I was an infant worked his ass off (with my Mom along side every step of the way) to provide not only love, support and encouragement but a safe home and eventually most of the luxuries an upper middle class family could afford. In a sentence, I was never left wanting for more. I believed my ex-husband and I, as co-captains of our team, would provide the same for our family….

My good friend used to work on Wall Street, now he works in the Financial Services industry specializing in Insurance and up until 3 years ago he was living the good life as a bachelor; every penny earned and saved was for him and his future. Today, he lives with his girlfriend and her two amazing children whom he loves as his own. His world as he knew it no longer exists. But he is happier than he’s ever been and I know this because over a glass of wine he exclaimed, “I love my life!”  Other than my Father this friend is the one person I trust with my finances. He helps guide me towards a more comfortable future for my daughter and me. We got to talking about Bernie Madoff – I am riveted by this man not because of the fortune he made albeit stole, but because his lack of conscious and he’s a Father?! I learned Madoff started his firm in 1960 as a penny stock trader with $5,000 (about $35,000 in 2008 dollars), earned from working as a lifeguard and sprinkler installer. A lifeguard. (A lifeguard in my opinion is undeniably a person who selflessly cares for the well being of others.) I think it’s safe to say most of work towards the American Dream to then hopefully retire early with we our facilities in tact, after maybe having raised a family to then set out to explore and conquer even more of our hopes and dreams. Madoff and his Wife raised two boys and as his Securities Firm grew he enlisted the help of his immediate family, younger brother, niece, nephew, and both his sons as well as his wife Ruth (It has been reported that Mrs. Madoff had reconciled the firm’s bank accounts). How in their right minds did the Madoff’s screw hundreds of thousands of people for over 40 years, look their children in the eyes and raise them without teaching them anything about humanity, honesty, strength, courage, and integrity?

As me, my good friend, and his girlfriend (one of my best friends) talked of life we joked that if I was looking to make fast cash no man or woman would kick me off the pole. Sure the conversation was in jest, but the fact remains, stripping, porn, prostitution and ponzi schemes are absolutely viable options. And as I continued to think of Madoff I was quickly reminded of two of the many differences between him and me, which is a good conscious and greed.

[poll id="2"]

My good friend moved across the Country for the woman he loved and her children. He’s working in a new field, a new state (pun intended) and continues to work his ass off to support his new family. I became a single parent of an infant with only a thousand dollars to my name and no place to live. Like my good friend I too work day in and day out, with honesty and integrity to provide for my family. Yes we dream of the American Dream but for G-d’s sakes you don’t see us out there slinging shit hoping it sticks to line our pockets at the expense of other people! (Alright, I work in television so maybe I’m not totally exempt from shit slinging but I think you get my point). At what cost will you earn money to make more than a comfortable living for you and your family?

Always,

Daniella

• (4) Comments
• Permalink
• RSS 2.0
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
•