Parenting After Divorce | Daddy’s Little Girl(s)

• Posted: July 3, 2009
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• Author: Daniella
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• Filed under: Ask the Single Parent
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• Tags: child, children, custody arrangement, divorce, extra marital affair, parenting

First, I want to apologize to Daniella for an anything but prompt posting of this fathers day piece! Second, I want to offer my sincere gratitude to Daniella for her compelling articles. Not only are these topics of single parenting thought provoking, they have an edge that has garnered many wonderful comments. I hope you all continue to share your thoughts with the community of Adam's Wedding Dress.

Childhood living is easy to do
~ Rolling Stones

I vividly remember the day my dad sat on my bed and I was standing in front of him at 7 yrs old eye to eye with my hands on his face, “Daddy, will I always be your little girl?” While I am not the quintessential, “Daddy’s Girl”, I am still very much my daddy’s little girl. Nothing was more apparent than the hurt and anger and his innate sense to protect me upon hearing the news of my ex-husband’s extra marital affair. My dad is my every thing, my role model as a husband, and a father. Unfortunately, we’ve been at an impasse for sometime now due to my verbal custody arrangement (I have 100% legal and physical custody). My Dad has very strong opinions about my ex-husband and while I respect my him [dad] we do not agree on certain issues concerning my daughter, his granddaughter.

The morning after the last day of school, I took my daughter to her daddy’s; they were about to embark on their traditional Canadian holiday. Holding back tears, only to be strong for her, but with one last embrace and salty kisses from her face, “I don’t understand why you can’t come with us! It’s not easy being a kid! I know I’m a big girl now, but, will I always be your little girl?” I couldn’t help but to surrender and cry with her. As their car drove away it was all I could do not to run after it, even wild horses couldn’t drag me away. Tears of anguish, sadness, but joy too. I will never be apart of my little girl’s Canadian holidays or any other experience she’ll share with her daddy but – she has a daddy!! I stood there for what felt like an eternity while “No sweeping exists… could make me feel bitter” (Rolling Stones) ran though my mind. Thereafter, I found myself aimlessly driving winding up at the beach as Charlotte Martin’s arrangement of “Wild Horses” played on tirelessly.  I filled with joy knowing my little girl has a father who loves her, loves her deeply, who is there for her unconditionally and who will teach her the ways of the world through his eyes. Perhaps my daughter will grow to be grateful that she has the father she has…just like I do!

Dear Dad, It’s because of you that I am strong, self sufficient, a great parent, and that I have the ability to not only like men but to love them in spite of my past. You always have and continue to encourage and support me and more than anything you taught me to stand up for all that I believe. So while we don’t see eye to eye on my various divorce decisions trust that with all you’ve given me your granddaughter will grow to be strong, self sufficient, wise, compassionate and forgiving because she too has a daddy!

Happy father’s day Dad and to all the father’s who not only fathered their children but who are Daddy’s in every sense of the word!

Always,
Daniella

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