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About Adam’s Wedding Dress

July, 2008

First, let me tell you why I started this site. I went through a divorce. Now I am 3 years on the other side. Although I am still financially paying, I am completely beyond the the divorce, the marriage, and that slice of my life. I have successfully made it to the other side. It was not easy, it took much support from friends and family…and time! I want to help people get there too.

Adam’s Wedding Dress is a FREE site, with the sole purpose and mission to help people. You can support the site by subscribing to our articles. In return, you will gain a weekly, if not more, bit of knowledge and insight on divorce support, personal well being, motivation, and more.

I am fortunate to own a design, printing and web development company. This affords me the ability to make a nice looking site, but please don’t be fooled by the nice cover, the core of this site is a real story and a real desire to help others. Voicing your story is therapeutic, reading others stories helps you understand you are not the only one out there going through this process. (and perhaps lets you know your story is not that bad!!!)

So i suggest that you take time to:

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Most of all, be well.

Here is the story of Adam’s Wedding Dress, my own divorce story!

I got married 8 years ago.

This is the wedding dress! For real!

I’m thinking about that as I land at LAX sometime around 4:00 PM, it is exactly one week after Valentines day, I remember the day, it was sunny and crisp. How can I really tell it is nice day?  I’m just looking out of a small crappy airplane window? What the hell am I doing? I am alone, really alone. No…really alone!

I spent the past week in Vancouver, BC, partying like a rock star with one of my closest friends, escaping the reality that I am now at the beginning of a divorce. The rock and roll party of the last week comes to a crash landing as i taxi to the gate. What the hell am i going to do? What will be left in my house. I escaped her move out by flying to Vancouver, bailed life, my job, and everything else, just to get out of town and not deal with the move out. I wonder if the couch is still there? Oh Shit…what about the cool TV in our…no, wait, it is my room now!

I grab my bags and find my driver. This is so surreal, I am in the back of a black sedan heading home from the airport. The irony of it all is that it feels like I am going to a funeral. My heart sinks as we turn the corner to my home. I know that when the driver dumps me and my luggage off at my door…that will be it, ALONE.

The first thing I am worried about is my kitchen, my pots and pans, all my great kitchen appliances, will I be able to cook again! Her dogs are here??? Why would she leave the dogs. My mind is racing…will I have a place to sit upstairs, what about the DOGS, how could she leave her dogs, what about sheets, soap, towels? This is totally unreal, my mind is racing forward, I’m gripped with anxiety. To my surprise I walk into the house much as I had left it. The green couch was gone, the coffee table, well basically the entire living room entertainment section was a empty hole. No big deal I think. You know, she was really cool, she left all my man gear, few pictures were missing, the flatware was gone, cleaning crap…not bad. Not bad at all.

I’m still thinking about the dogs, how do you abandon your dogs. They were not my dogs. My Lab died a few years prior and she was replaced with a Chihuahua to accompany her Cocker Spaniel. How do you leave your dogs? You left me, but the dogs? I’m fearfully walking downstairs, I contemplate the dogs as I look in  every room to access my lonely situation. I almost cannot stand the thought of going in to “our” bedroom. I already decided that I will not sleep in there, i will gut the room, get rid of the bed and all the shabby sheik furnishing and rebuild that room first…my style! In the mean time I will set up shop in the guest bedroom.

I summon up my courage and enter “my” room. Bed, chaise, most of the stuff still there. WOW…a thought comes to mind…I am actually going to have a glorious closet. Gone are the days of all my clothing smashed together in a small closet space and scattered in 3 different rooms…I will have one massive girl closet!! I open the girl closet. The girl closet spans the entire width of what is now my room. Three sections of rolling mirror panels. I open the middle closet panel and I see vast storage space, not a shoe or a shirt, just empty closet space! How cool! Wait, something catches my eye in the far right corner of the closet. As I roll the right panel open, a cannon hits me in the face…a bomb goes off…the world stops….there it is…

In the far corner of a completely empty closet is the wedding dress, hanging alone! Silence. My brain is trying to work out the complete “diss” that this is. (if you are not up on the lingo, a “diss” is not good…it is a “disrespect” or a put down). The wedding dress. She left the *^#&ing wedding dress. What a bitch. That took some balls I think to myself…wait, I think I said it out loud, the dogs are just staring at me. What does it mean…do I tell anyone? I am alone with the *^&#ing wedding dress!

This is the story of Adams wedding dress. This is not the story of my divorce. That I may post in bits and pieces of later. Nothing could have hurt me more then seeing that dress in an empty closet left behind. And 3 years later that dress is still in the closet and has become the icon of this website, and an icon for my desire to help others make it though divorce!

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