AWD | Divorce Support/Advice Forum: Recent Posts

lxd1986121747 on "wedding dresses"

lxd1986121747 — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 05:48:01 +0000

hello !

cjjcmg on "Warning Signs"

cjjcmg — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:18:54 +0000

Little late chiming in but better late than never! Ah, the signs of which we do not heed. The one question that Tom Lykis (ya, I went there) always asked people who were in a poor marriage was, "Did you know this before you got married?" The answer was always yes. My answer is a resounding yes! I knew my ex was crazy, flirtatious and the life of the party, I liked it. I knew my ex was bulimic and bi-polar, unfortunately I never got this clinically proven which would have been helpful for child custody. I knew my ex's family was splintered and that it took tremendous effort to get them together just for holiday's, completely opposite to my family. She didn't put a whole lot of effort to get along with my family, and my family responded by creating distance, I should have followed suit. Get this, I knew she didn't have patience for kids, pretty much didn't want them in the beginning, I still had kids with her not knowing, only hoping she would make a good mother. The problem is I'm a helper, I work harder fixing others than myself. I thought my belief in a strong family, my huge heart and my supportive nature would rub off on her. It didn't. Who was I to think I could change her character. Only she could change it. She didn't. I married her anyway, hoping, wishing, so badly that I sat back confidently. My fault. When I speak to anyone about my experience I give this advice. Step back and really look at a person before you make what should be a life-long contract. Now that you know the person, would you fall for them if you just met them? What do your friends and family think of your future mate? They see it clearly, know you well and are usually right. Is this the person you would introduce to your current children, if you had them? They are not only the one who is going to meet your children in the near future, but they will be bound to them for the rest of their lives . . . bound to you for the rest of your life! I look back and the signs are now clear. The signs are like the bright red, octagonal sign that prompts that good ol' "California Stop". Stop now before you end up in traffic school, er, marriage/divorce/co-parenting therapy. I hate divorce. If only they had comedy therapy!

Jonathan on "Warning Signs"

Jonathan — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 20:02:47 +0000

How are these? (keep in mind, I realize that I am no picnic by any measure either) - She slept with her chiropractor while we were dating and we broke up for 6 months (obviously I took her back... won't ever make THAT mistake again) - Her pet name was "the Frat Boy" for the messes she would leave around the house - She encouraged me to explore interests with other women (later in our marriage) if I felt inclined to do so. She knew that men had needs and didn't want me to feel "torn" (I'm actually, literally shaking my head and laughing as I type these... they are NOT bullshit. True story) - Jumped from one relationship to another (usually by way of infidelity) when she was younger, never really being alone or self-reliant Hmmmm, all this and I actually had the nerve to be SURPRISED when she had an affair with the contractor who was working on our house? And AGAIN, in retrospect; They BOTH did me a HUGE favor! 2.5 yrs post marriage, I have NEVER been happier or living a fuller life.

Jonathan on "Roll Call"

Jonathan — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:59:36 +0000

Hi, Jonathan here! "On-again-off-again poster and commenter" I guess you could say. STATISTICS: Age; 39 Divorced twice (and currently contemplating my next "at bat") 4 kids 1 dog Occupation; Too numerous to list here I enjoy reading Daniella's columns and have been reminded that we all have something to contribute through our experiences. Perhaps I have yet to realize my true calling in this arena. Thanks D!

cjjcmg on "Beware of your lawyer's conflict of interest!"

cjjcmg — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:40:39 +0000

I agree! My ex and I both hired attorney's at $5k down. The money went quick with nothing to show. There is something to say however about "you get what you pay for", so $5k doesn't go a long way with the right attorney. I hate to put down any profession as a whole, hell, my dad went from being a personal injury attorney to a car salesman, I'm an investment advisor and Realtor. When you are in the business of making money, which we all are, you do what you can to keep that happening hopefully within ethical limits. Being that I have legal experience and my father is a retired lawyer with trial experience, I plan handling court with my dad by my side. Between us, we will understand the rules of the court while answering carefully and directly. I have tried for a long time to negotiate outside of court but my ex's controlling nature does not allow her to lose, at the cost of our children.

mosesesq on "Beware of your lawyer's conflict of interest!"

mosesesq — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 21:41:02 +0000

As a lawyer, and a mediator, I have discovered a serious systemic problem with attorneys in the family court system. Namely, that the longer a case remains in court, the more money the lawyers make. Because of this, family law attorneys have an inherent conflict of interest between ending your court case as quickly as possible and prolonging your court case to generate more legal fees. Beware of this hidden danger!

Adam on "GROWING UP IN A RELATIONSHIP"

Adam — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 20:06:35 +0000

Thought I would start a thread on Adam's Dad's latest post. The story is quite compelling if you are honest with yourself! ____________________________________________ Adam’s mom and I will be married 64 years this year. As you might expect, there were many bumps along the way. However, we managed to get past them and it was never necessary to even think of divorce. We were partners and we were a team. As with any team (think Kobe Bryant here), there were disagreements. It was during one of these disagreements that I grew up. We had been married about 20 years and we were in the middle of one of our disagreements. It was getting louder (on my part) and moving in a very bad direction. When the intensity almost reached shouting, Mrs. Weston asked, “Why are you shouting at me?” I thought about that for several seconds, and then I grew up. My answer? BECAUSE I WAS WRONG! I had acknowledged that I owned the problem. It did not diminish my stature in her eyes, exactly the opposite; I became more of a man and a husband. We kissed, made up and laughed about the whole thing.

cjjcmg on "Men's Divorce Discussions"

cjjcmg — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:00:52 +0000

I'll see what I can do without beating my ex up too much. Or do we support that here?

Adam on "Warning Signs"

Adam — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 16:55:19 +0000

This is a follow up tread to my "Warning Sign" post in the main blog <a href="http://www.adamsweddingdress.com/2009/06/07/divorce-a-warning-sign/">Click Here to Read - Warning Sign</a> Feel free to comment.

Adam on "Men's Divorce Discussions"

Adam — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 23:04:21 +0000

Chris, I am so thrilled with your post...thanks for your involvement. A community of peeps helping each other out! Would love to post your story on the blog if you ever care to write it in more detail! Cheers, Adam

cjjcmg on "Men's Divorce Discussions"

cjjcmg — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 22:33:26 +0000

There are lots of us out there. I'm just coming down from hell, but still have some issues to iron out like custody, finances, etc. The emotional rollercoaster, I think, is over! It all started when my wife took off with a friend of mine. I was destroyed and distraught!! I lost 40 pounds in a month and a half, didn't want to eat. I can't hurt a fly, but when it came to her I was violent (verbally only). I was lost and fighting hard to understand what had been done. This was August 2006 and only in the last six months has the anger subsided. Two days ago after three failed attempts, with little effort by me, I finally focused and the fourth filing was successful. This week . . . I'm DIVORCED! What a load off! I feel disconnected from her . . . well, as disconnected as the father of her children can be. Now she wants the boys 80% of the time and to have me pay her for the privilege. Mind you, I don't do drugs, don't drink, have a steady job and home. I will fight that one til the end! She has taken my family from me, she will not take my boys! I like where I am today, everything getting better daily. Relax, take a breath, get through the day. I'm not saying that tomorrow you will be fine, but in time you will be amazed at how comfortable you can be again. Great luck! Keep in touch here and tell us how you are doing. I am not affiliated, just a loyal follower. I'm certainly happy to have this forum. Chris

MikeS on "Men's Divorce Discussions"

MikeS — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 21:41:46 +0000

I am anxious for someone to start a new thread here. I am newly divorced and having a hell of a time. I just don't know where to turn. Found this site and the stories are great. Feeling a bit lost right now! HELP!!!! I am sure there are others out there like me!

Adam on "Women's Divorce Discussions"

Adam — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 22:16:41 +0000

I just made this one of my FAVORITE topics by clicking the link above. When someone makes a reply, I will get notified by email!

Adam on "Child Support"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:33:34 +0000

Do you "honestly" receive a "fair" amount of child support?

Adam on "Single Parenting Concerns"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:32:53 +0000

What age do you think is appropriate for your children to decide where they live?

Adam on "The Ex's New Relationship"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:32:13 +0000

Does your ex's girlfriend/boyfriend make it harder or easier on you and/or your kids?

Adam on "Introducing New Romance to your Children"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:31:33 +0000

How long before you intro your children to a romantic friend vs a new non romantic friend?

Adam on "Single Parent Dating"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:30:22 +0000

Who do you think has an easier time dating, single dads or single moms?

Adam on "Dead or Alive"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:29:22 +0000

Do you wish your spouse was completely out of the picture?

Daniella on "Roll Call"

Daniella — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:05:50 +0000

Hey there! I am the contributing writer for the column, "Ask the Single Parent" on Adams Wedding Dress blog. While I do not consider myself an expert I do have almost 7 years of single parenting experience. I have also been divorced for 6 years and believe I have a very good co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband; through my experiences (good, bad and indifferent) I hope to be of some help to all you as you will be to me.

Adam on "Broken Heart....Still?"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:48:12 +0000

I am constantly reminded of my past life thought each and every day. Places we had been, things still in the house...but I have come to terms and finally done my best to let go. Many followers of Adam's Wedding Dress comment to me on how hard it is to get over the "hump". What are your experiences?

Adam on "Men's Divorce Discussions"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:59:02 +0000

Start a thread here

Adam on "Roll Call"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:57:59 +0000

I'm Adam, I created this blog. Adam’s Wedding Dress is a FREE site, with the sole purpose and mission to help people. You can support the site by subscribing to our articles. In return, you will gain a weekly, if not more, bit of knowledge and insight on divorce support, personal well being, motivation, and more.

Adam on "Considering Divorce"

Adam — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:55:57 +0000

Considering Divorce? Share your thoughts, hear from others!