Divorce Getaway is a new show that is meant to be transformational and life changing for
those who participate. Recent divorces who may benefit from a show where we help them move-on, rebuild their self-esteem, and rebuild their lives will be a good fit for this show. “Divorce is getting more and more common and we want the newly divorced to know that they are not alone”, explains Glassman Media. Divorce Getaway will help get your life back, get back to your old self, and help realize life does in fact go on. Glassman Media’s casting assistant Blair Baskin explains that they are  looking to cast recently separated or divorced singles ages 25-45 who will benefit from a few weeks of growth as well as the time of their life. They can plan on at the very least a 5 star resort (probably a much needed vacation), plenty of new opportunities still currently in development, and the chance to win a large cash prize!

Adam’s Wedding Dress has no monetary interest in providing this information, we simply believe that this is an interesting concept and would like to spread the word to our readers! Send a post card if you make it!

Now Seeking Recently Separated or Divorced Men and Women for a new primetime TV show

Los Angeles, CA.  4/22/09 – Casting is underway nationwide to find women and men for a primetime unscripted television series.

Producers from Glassman Media are seeking men and women between the ages of 25 and 45 who are recently separated or divorced and ready to re-build their lives.

This TV series will transform these individuals by helping them get rid of their pain, learn how to let go and rebuild their self-esteem.

All applicants should be ready for an adventure of a lifetime and be open to putting their troubles behind them.  This show will help guide these men and women to the surface again as well as address their anxieties and fears.  Anyone selected to be on the show will be in for FANTASTIC SURPRISES
and the chance to win a large CASH PRIZE!

To apply for the show or nominate someone you know email the following info to:

divorcegetaway4@gmail.com

1.    Name:
2.    Occupation:
3.    City where you live:
4.    Phone:
5.    How long separated or divorced:
6.    Short bio on downfall of the relationship:
7.    Include the reason your spouse would say it ended:
8.    Two Pictures

www.GlassmanMedia.com

If you read the story of Adam’s Wedding Dress, you would know that the week my ex moved out of the house, I hit the road and visited a buddy in Vancouver. The first few nights were a drunk fest while venting to by bro. He is an amazing listener and was a great help. I think the fact that he was divorced made it  easy to identify with my situation. I mean to say, knowing he had “been there too” made it easy for me to identify with my own situation…really helped talking it out, knowing he had been there too.

“B” as we’ll call him is an actor, good looking and an outgoing guy. Out at the bars in a new city with B was just what I needed. We met so many great people and I forgot about the challenge that lay ahead of me, waiting back in Los Angeles. Turns out I went on 2 dates while I was in Vancouver. 2 Dates? Your ex just moved out of the house, what do you mean “dates”? The dates were really not dates for love or to start a relationship, they were more affirmation that I was still alive with a heartbeat. Nothing happened on these dates more then creating a friendship. I was not ready for anything more at that time. Turns out, that I remain friends to this day with both dates!

When is the right time to date after a divorce?

Do you just jump right back in or follow the rules and wait a year? Are there differences for men and woman? I personally never abide by any rules, rules in the common sense of the term. For matters of my personal life I follow my gut. Rules are made by others. (let’s not go overboard here, I am not referring to rules such as stopping at a traffic light)  Your heart is really all you need. Granted, when I started really dating, I was not ready for a serious relationship, I wanted something light and easy. Looking back, I was very honest with those I was dating, I was clear that I wanted to have the better part of a relationship…the fun and not the hassle. How impossible is that! Regardless, every new date was a new experience and a new opportunity to learn.

This bring me to actually dating. What should you know on a date? I’m a very social person, I never really felt out of practice, but what if you do? What should you expect in someone else? Nerves can take over, you may feel like a school kid once again, but hey, that is the fun part. Did you ever say if I knew then what I know now? Well guess what, you now have the chance! Rejoice in your new freedom! Learn from everyone. Weed out the tools and losers.

Here is a cool list that I found on ivillage.com. The list is kind of sound and practical knowledge, as well as good advice to consider. Not only are these things that YOU should observe, but they are things your date should observe too. Trust me when I tell you this, there are more people out there that are uncompilable with you then there are those that are compatible. Take it light and enjoy the ride! The loser dates are fun to talk about with your friends!

10 Commandments of Post-Divorce Dating

You’ve made the plans, and now it’s time to get down to business. The date portion is one of the most savory dishes on life’s expansive menu so prepare to sample your fair share. You probably don’t want to hear any lectures about the dating do’s and don’ts, so we’ll just skip the do’s and get straight to the don’ts. Just as Moses handed down a set of laws, or commandments, if you will, for us mortals to follow, so shall we bring forth the laws of dating. Should you break a commandment or fail to follow the formula for perfect dates coming up in the next section, you should prepare to endure all the torments of dating hell. That said, let’s get on with the show.

#1: Thou Shalt Not Ignore Thy Date Paying close attention to your date’s every move is not up for discussion. There are some people who feel like they have to leer at every attractive person that walks through the door. Most dates would get offended by this sort of behavior, taking it as a personal insult. So unless you’re intent on hurting your companion’s feelings, keep your eyes and ears directed at your date at all times. If you made your date feel like they’re the only person in the room, you’ll have gone a long way toward living up to your role as the perfect date.

If you happen to take your date to a party and feel like mingling with some of your friends, keep in mind that your date’s happiness is your first priority. Be extra attentive by doing small things such as bringing drinks, initiating conversation, and making all the right introductions. You can bet that your little acts of kindness will not go unnoticed.

#2: Thou Shalt Not Drink or Become Intoxicated Even if you’re not driving, excessive consumption of alcohol and other recreational drugs is strictly prohibited. If you’ve ever been forced to sit through the film Blind Date, in which lovely Kim Basinger proceeds to get sloshed during a night on the town with Bruce Willis, you know that there’s nothing less attractive than a perfectly nice date who’s three sheets to the wind and feeling no pain. As far as first impressions go, this behavior can put you at a disadvantage.

The best way to avoid becoming drunk is to eat plenty before the date. That way you’ll be able to absorb the alcohol faster. Even if you’re just looking to chase the butterflies out of your stomach, forgo the booze in favor of some deep breathing exercises.

#3: Thou Shalt Not Talk About Thy Ex Whether you’ve just broken up, happened to run into your ex that day, or just can’t help digging up the past, talking about your ex is a first date faux pas. The last thing your date wants to hear about is how horrible or great your ex was. As far as your date is concerned, you’ve never ever gone out with anyone before.

Many people think that dredging up a former love will somehow make them seem more desirable. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Your date is more likely to think that you’re having a problem letting go and are on the rebound. If they’re smart, they will never want to see you again. If they’re not, it’s you who should be running the other way.

#4: Thou Shalt Not Lie First dates are all about getting to know each other and being honest. If you happen to be out of a job, living with your parents, or hard up for cash, by all means don’t lie about it. You can omit the information, so long as you fess up when asked point blank. Don’t equivocate, don’t change the subject, and don’t make up some elaborate ruse. If the date proves successful, and more follow, you’ll eventually be exposed for the charlatan that you are. And, besides, if your date can’t accept you exactly the way you are, then you’re better off finding someone who isn’t so superficial.

#5: Thou Shalt Not Commit an Act of Road Rage When transporting your date from one destination to another, thou shalt obey the rules of the road and be courteous to other drivers. If you happen to be cut off by a kamikaze driver or even get thrown the bird, act as if nothing happened. Do not, and we repeat, do not proceed to chase down the offender or slam on your brakes to get revenge. Not only will your date be paralyzed with fear for his or her safety; he or she will remain uncomfortable for the duration of this, your first and last date together.

#6: Thou Shalt Not Show Up More Than 20 Minutes Late When it comes to dating, timeliness is next to godliness. The worst thing you can do to your date is keep them waiting. Nobody likes to sit around wondering whether they’re being stood up, especially if they’re already nervous about going out with someone for the first time. Before heading out for the outing, make sure you have scheduled plenty of time to pick up your date. You should also avoid scheduling any other activities for at least one hour before your date. Many dates have been known to be canceled right from the get-go because of tardiness. Make sure you’re not one of the many casualties in the race against time by allowing plenty of room for error.

#7: Thou Shalt Not Come on Too Strong It’s considered in bad taste to make lewd comments about your date’s appearance, touch them without permission, or insinuate wanting to get more sexual. Unless you’re looking for nothing more than a basic wham-bam-adios-amigo — which, by the way, you’re still not likely to score using these tactless methods — keep your sexually charged particles in line.

When getting to know someone for the first time, most people prefer to keep things on a platonic level. That means putting a nix on the sexual advances. At least have the decency to wait until your date is more comfortable with you. Most importantly, never try to push your date into a sexual situation. Always err on the side of caution-even if while their lips are saying no, their eyes are saying yes.

#8: Thou Shalt Not Use Thy Cellular In the name of insufferable bores everywhere, deactivate your cell phone while on your date. Should your friends be trying to reach you, they can leave a message on your voice mail. Using a cellular phone during your date can be a major turnoff. By talking on the phone, you’re saying that your date is not significant enough to captivate your attention, implying that your work and friends are much more important. That’s not exactly the message you want to convey to someone who has kindly agreed to go out with a cellphone-flaunting-Sally like yourself. If you cared enough to go on the date, keeping things lively should be your top priority.

#9: Thou Shalt Not Talk About Building a Family Few things are more frightening than going on a first date and being confronted with the issues of marriage and family. Such situations make most people stop and look around to make sure they’re still in America — as opposed to some countries, where one meeting is all you get before striking an arrangement.

Before sizing up your date for mate potential, take a breather and get a little perspective. You’ve only just met a little while ago. If you happen to be looking for Mr/s. Right, keep your plans to yourself or risk scaring off potential suitors. Remember, whatever will be, will be. Grilling your date about their desire to have kids will only make you seem foolish and desperate. If you want to find out whether someone would make a good husband or wife, try studying their behavior instead. Actions will always speak much louder than words.

#10: Thou Shalt Not Whine If “I want” figures prominently on your list of most frequently used phrases, then prepare to monitor your behavior during date hours. Bossing your date around or pouring on the old “bitch and moan” routine when you don’t get your way are sure-fire ways to spoil a romantic mood. If you have your heart set on doing something particular, take the lead-just make sure your date is fine with your arrangements. If, on the other hand, you’ve let your date take control, either voice your dissent right away or pretend you’re enjoying the 100-degree weather and the two-hour hike. The prima donna attitude will make you seem spoiled, selfish, and definitely not second date material.

I would be most interested to here some comments on post divorce dating. When, how and what has been the outcome? Comment below. Click on the Comments Link

The genesis of most of my posts on Adam’s Wedding Dress are derived from things that I read, hear or experience. Giving divorce advice is not easy! I’ve had my eye on a couple of blogs recently and I see a continued pattern of post divorce questions. In addition to that, my recent membership on Facebook has brought to my attention many friends that are currently dating post divorce. Before I tackle this subject I want to reiterate some of my personal philosophies as well as the core philosophy of this site. I am not necessarily “giving advice” when I write my thoughts that you, the audience, reads. I want to be clear that I am expressing my life experience in a very objective manner. One should not take these writings as a definative “how to” or “should do”, rather take these writings as a point of view for reference. Your life experience is much different then mine. In fact, your life experience is different then any other life experience. Everywhere we look, be it a friend, an article, a book or even a professional, we are overwhelmed with advice and “you should do” or “you need to do”. Until I came to understand that the only person that really gets me is me, all that advice and “should do’s” were pretty worthless. Having said that, now I can listen to advice and “should do’s” with the notion that I take from them what I need, learn from them, and generally invite the experience of others into my experience. So please do that here, take from these words what makes sense to you, understand what you can, then take what works for you.

Dating after divorce will not be a one post subject! I’ll start with some background and continue the thread with many posts. I invite you to participate with comments at the bottom of this page if you are inspired or disagree!

How soon after my divorce can I start dating?

That is the repeated question I am seeing and hearing over and over. How soon after divorce to date? Is there a right time. Should I wait a year? What about my children? Check this thread out on Yahoo Answers for example. Also, if you do a Google search you will find many instances of this question, you will also find people profiting from selling “guides” on this subject. PLEASE!!!!!!

I am not going to talk about a time line, rather I am going to discuss your mindset, this should not surprise you if you have read any of my other posts. I am a man, and my perspective is quite different then that of a woman’s. What I want to present is something general for both sexes, then get into some details for guys and girls. Remember, this is a real life experience of someone that has been through this! To that point I will share some details of my experience.

For 10 years I was 100% faithful to my ex. I met her, and was married 2 years later. Our marriage lasted 8 years. That is 10 years out of my life that I was with one woman and one woman only. I never strayed. This

is important to understand as this shaped my particular circumstance. I have friends with very different circumstances. For example, I have a very close girlfriend who’s husband cheated on her. I have a very close buddy that cheated on his wife. I have friends both male and female that were in very violent relationships, I have a friend that lost his spouse to illness, and, like my situation, I have friends that just had a relationship wear out.

Each of the above situations garners a different mindset in getting back into a relationship. Keep in mind that any kind of dating is a relationship, even if you go on a date and find out the guy is a total tool, that still is a relationship to a very small degree. My post marriage dating experience started from the fact that I was in a worn out marriage, two people that had grown apart. Our marriage became sexless…or more important, sensuality-less (I’m making up words). I am a very social person and was worried sick about being alone, the sooner I could get some opposite sex, human contact the better. Was I “ready” to date? Depending on what you call dating, I was ready for anything that had to do with another woman! For me I could not be more excited to get out in the dating game.

I want to be very sincere and honest here. I had NO intention whatsoever to jump from this marriage into a serious relationship. I wanted to make up for so called lost time and have human contact. I had a new found freedom. Imagine this, being in a “sensuality-less” marriage, a marriage where two people had grown apart instead of together. Now throw me out into civilian life! And remember that I am a guy! This is important: My mind was set (my mindset) on carefree, fun times, NOT another marriage.

What is your mindset? Think that over. This is the first part of my post divorce dating topic. Are you looking to jump right back into a “relationship”, or are you just looking to have “fun”. This matters. From my experience it seems, as a general statement, that my guy friends want to just get out there and have fun.  On the other hand, as a general statement, many of my girlfriends are looking for Mr. Right and want to quickly start up a new, long lasting relationship. I caution the reader to understand that this is just a generalization and not always the case, but for the most part this is what I am seeing. I can honestly say that I did want to just go out and have some “fun”, I was not looking for a new wife.

I’m going to conclude this first post with no real advice (sorry). Read over this background information presented in this post. Consider the fact that there are a pool of people out there, some looking to have “fun” and some looking to find thier next spouse. This holds true for those that are post divorce and those that have never even been married. To really understand when is the right time to start dating, I think it is important to understand what your mindset is…what is it that you are looking for NOW and in the FUTURE. In my next post I will give you some real life examples of my experience and those of my friends. You will ultimately find that it matters not WHEN to start dating, rather what it is you are looking for. With that information in hand, your post dating experience can be positive for you and for those you come in contact with!

If I have provoked any thoughts, please share them in the comment box below. Divorce Support comes in many forms, your input helps.